


we dwell with peculiar interest on the little incidents

by threefundamentaltruths



Series: bridgerton missing scenes [8]
Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: As other drabbles are added, Bridgertons Being Bridgertons, Canon Compliant, Colin Bridgerton has two true loves: his wife and his food, F/M, Fact: Michael Stirling makes all his brothers-in-law insecure, Missing Scene, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pall Mall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:22:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29142933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threefundamentaltruths/pseuds/threefundamentaltruths
Summary: Miscellaneous drabbles that go with thebridgerton missing scenes.Drabble the First: Wherein Colin argues with Cook. Takes place between the last chapter ofRomancing Mister Bridgertonand the epilogue.Drabble the Second: “You want to play?” Colin repeats very slowly, as if his wife’s just announced that she wishes to leave him to go live with her mother again rather than play a simple lawn game.Drabble the Third: “Did you know,” Michael murmurs to his sister-in-law, “that when Francesca tried to rile me about my impending downfall at the hands of London’s matchmaking mamas and their darling daughters, she thought to pair me off with you?”
Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington, Francesca Bridgerton/Michael Stirling
Series: bridgerton missing scenes [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2112294
Comments: 44
Kudos: 207





	1. for your own good

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [a letter](https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Hamilton/01-05-02-0297-0001) from Alexander Hamilton to Angelica Schuyler Church.
> 
> It’s my headcanon that Francesca regularly gifts her family Kilmartin raspberry jam and they’re all obsessed with it, but especially Colin (of course).
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [your3fundamentaltruths](https://your3fundamentaltruths.tumblr.com)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Colin argues with Cook. Takes place between the last chapter of _Romancing Mister Bridgerton_ and the epilogue.
> 
> “Mr. Bridgerton, I am doing this for your own good,” Cook says sternly.
> 
> “You’re _starving_ me for my own good?” Colin demands dramatically.

“Mr. Bridgerton, I am doing this for your own good,” Cook says sternly.

“You’re _starving_ me for my own good?” Colin demands dramatically.

“Starving you, sir?” Cook scoffs. “I know for a fact that I sent a plateful of perfectly good butter biscuits up with your tea not five minutes ago. I expect it is sitting on your desk even now, given how quickly you stormed down here.”

“But they don’t have the right jam,” he whines.

“Are you saying my jam isn’t good enough, sir?” Cook asks in a dangerously soft voice.

“Of course not,” he says, giving her just the sort of smile he’d have directed at an opera singer in his bachelor days. “It’s just that I wanted the Kilmartin raspberry,” he continues meltingly.

She shakes her finger at him warningly. “You’re not fooling me, sir.”

“But –”

“No! And what’s more, you’ll thank me for it in the morning.”

“But –”

“I am saving it for Mrs. Bridgerton and that’s that,” Cook says firmly, tone brooking no argument.

“Aren’t I the one paying you?” he mutters.

“Yes,” she replies, ears as sharp as ever, “but are you really such a cur as to deny your wife the one thing she truly wishes to eat right now?”

He swears under his breath. “Surely she wouldn’t mind sharing a _little_ – isn’t that what marriage is all about?”

“There’s hardly any of the Kilmartin jam left and I assure you that you do not want to know what will happen should there be none left next time Mrs. Bridgeton craves it.”

He shudders.

“Write to the countess and ask her to send down more,” Cook commands. “Nothing else for it. Until then –” She shrugs. “ _You_ will have to make do with mine.”

He sighs deeply.

“If you stop being so petulant about it, I will send up egg sandwiches,” she promises.

“With the –”

Cook nods.

_Excellent._ “Well, all right then,” he finally surrenders.

It’s times like these he’s reminded how wise he was to have hired someone who worked in his family’s kitchens for years before entering his employment.

“Good boy,” Cook praises, not quite suppressing a smile as he walks out of her kitchen.

(Yes, _her_ kitchen. He knows better than to think it’s _his_ , for heaven’s sake.)


	2. the mallet of death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drabble the Second: I wish you would write a fic where Penelope surprisingly destroys everyone at Pall Mall with a polite smile on her face and Colin isn’t sure whether to be proud, terrified or absolutely furious because it’s Pall Mall and he’s competitive (prompt)
> 
> “You want to play?” Colin repeats very slowly, as if his wife’s just announced that she wishes to leave him to go live with her mother again rather than play a simple lawn game.

“You want to play?” Colin repeats very slowly, as if his wife’s just announced that she wishes to leave him to go live with her mother again rather than play a simple lawn game.

Not that _Bridgerton_ Pall Mall is ever simple.

She's never played before; she’s always preferred to stand aside and stir the pot as a spectator with her sly quips.

(God, how did he never figure her out?)

“Well, it would be a bit of a waste if I didn’t,” Penelope says matter-of-factly, oh-so-slowly pulling out the Mallet of Death as she says the fateful words.

She has a marvelous instinct for creating the maximum dramatic impact, he thinks faintly.

(Again, how did he _never_ figure her out?)

He’s always loved the fact that his wife surprises him.

But today -

By God, today he’s not sure whether to be furious, proud, aroused, or terrified.

(Furious is winning out.)

“How much?” he whispers when he can finally form the words.

“Not a penny, darling.” She shrugs modestly, stroking the mallet in a rather familiarly . . . loving way.

(Aroused is a close second.)

God, what a woman.


	3. sororicidal impulses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drabble the Third: “Did you know,” Michael murmurs to his sister-in-law, “that when Francesca tried to rile me about my impending downfall at the hands of London’s matchmaking mamas and their darling daughters, she thought to pair me off with you?”

“Did you know,” Michael murmurs to his sister-in-law, “that when Francesca tried to rile me about my impending downfall at the hands of London’s matchmaking mamas and their darling daughters, she thought to pair me off with you?”

“I did not,” Penelope replies, laughing. “However, I must say I’m flattered.”

Meanwhile, the looks her husband is shooting his wife suggest that sororicide is uppermost in Colin Bridgerton’s thoughts.

Michael just barely manages to stifle his smirk. There is something positively delightful in tormenting this particular brother-in-law.

And it certainly doesn’t hurt that it’s so easily done in this case, as Francesca _was_ right about Penelope – she is highly intelligent and enjoyable company once one gets past her initial shyness and that seems an eternity ago now. He’ll freely admit he quite underestimated her and that’s without even taking into account –

“Before Colin expires in a fit of jealous rage or ensures _my_ expiration,” Francesca cuts in wryly, “I should note that I had previously considered Eloise, but could not own to myself why the thought of matching Michael with one of my sisters had become so repellent.”

He nearly leers at her. “Is that so?”

Francesca, being Francesca, merely rolls her eyes.


End file.
